THAT'S Your Stimulus Plan???

For anyone who read the last post and said...you know, I just don't think the financial freefall has made big enough fools of the American people and their government...your time has come.

The New York Post recently reported that 25 of the 42 state lottos in the US have seen increased revenues since all our money was incinerated in the great bonfire of 2008. The logic behind these purchases is clear: No one knows you're spending if you immediately lose and throw the ticket away. Now that secret shopping isn't safe from infiltrating reporters lapping up the last bits of the good life, it's time to engage in truly reckless spending.

So keep an eye on the Super Jumbo Pot Sweepstakes numbers tonight...the golden ticket might just be your own.

NYP

You're broke? It's ok...so is the unemployment office!

In "times like these", many unearth a new found appreciation for those agencies and services providing a hand up. Waiting in line for concerts tickets is replaced by waiting in line to collect unemployment benefits or sign up for Job Corp. Because that's the point of all our taxes...right? We pay now in case we need it later; A sort of mandatory insurance policy with sky high premiums and no contracted guarantee, lucky us. Now, in our hour of need we can collect. Queue up everyone. It's time!

Or, err. It would be time. But see, the unemployment office, well...there was a mix up in 2001 and they didn't ever totally fix it, but as long as there isn't massive unemployment it really shouldn't be a prob...uh oh. It seems that they don't really "have the money". Or any money. At all. In fact they sort of need to borrow some. Because they're bankrupt too.

Even the government can't spare you a dime, brother.